Here in the final part of the work day I am taking a break to write this post. I am fatigued beyond belief after taking some energy gummies, it appears I have a reverse reaction to vitamin b12 lol. To pull myself out of the monotony on making corrections, I sought refuge here.
This week feels like the final sprint. Though Penance doesn’t come out until August 6th, this is the week most of the big checklist items are getting marked off.
On the to-do list this week:
- Finish making all corrections to have a polished manuscript for Penance
- Copyright Penance
- Send Penance Manuscript to Kirkus for review
- Format Penance interior files for print to get final page count to cover designer
- Finish formatting corrections for Transgression
- Get the cover back for the second edition of my first book, Transgression, and set up for distribution
- Re-launch Transgression
- Start promoting Penance while waiting for the review to come back
- If there’s time, start writing book three!
In addition to all of this, my YouTube video that should have gone up today refuses to upload. I’ve decided it is perfectly fine if it is late. I’ve also decided that it is okay to take care of myself, especially during crazy weeks like this one.
I had a doctors appointment with a dietician this morning to discuss my ongoing health journey.
A brief update for those of you who don’t know:
I have celiac disease, and it was a long road to finally getting diagnosed which means the damage to my digestive system was extensive. I was no longer able to absorb iron from food. For years I have received iron infusions to make up for that fact. However, this year, during my last round of infusions, I had allergic reactions to every single one, and can no longer receive iron infusions. I’m pretty much out of options so I have started seeing a team of doctors that all work together: An alternative medicine doctor, a health coach, and a dietician.
My dietician and I talked about how it’s crazy how stress can affect every aspect of your life, but especially your health. Its weeks like these where I would usually forget to eat, stay up late, and go until the to-do list was done. That behavior pattern has been so ingrained through practice, that I forget that that isn’t how I was designed. My body was made to rest. My mind was made to rest. My spirit was made to rest.
Pinpointing the moment to stop, and call it good ( or good enough for now) is difficult. With a western mindset and an American work ethic, it registers in my psyche as lazy to stop and rest, especially when there is still work to do. Remembering that that is exactly the time to stop, because there will always be more to do. That requires a functioning brain and body. I’ve got to give myself permission to feel uncomfortable, temporarily, with rest, while I establish this new and foreign habit, until it can hopefully begin to feel more natural.
If you’re like me and you equate rest with laziness, and you’ve given it that negative connotation in your mind, do yourself a favor; own that you are wrong! Not every thought process we have is accurate. Especially those taught to us by a burnt out culture. We praise workaholism, and almost consider burnout as a ‘you’ve made it!’ moment. Burn out isn’t the goal. Consistency, and the ability to keep showing up to be productive is. That takes rest. Consistent productive rest. The right kind of rest.
So in the start to a super busy week, I am taking this time to put it out there, and maybe y’all can hold me accountable, that in order to get through this daunting to-do list I absolutely have to make time for rest. I hope you will join me in doing the same!
brandyange.me 