Behind the Scene: The Train Talk

In this week’s blog post we are going to take a look at THAT conversation, and why it went the way it did…

But first, the scene!

“Feels weird to be sitting here brushing my teeth at a sink.” Achaia said, as she put the paste on her toothbrush.
“You’ve not done much train traveling then?” Yellaina asked.
“No, my dad always preferred planes.” Achaia answered before putting her toothbrush in her mouth. That made sense to Yellaina. From what she’d heard, Shael seemed quick and efficient. Trains took too long, and had too many changeovers of passengers. They were more risky.
“I bet he misses flying,” Olivier said sympathetically. Achaia looked over at him and shrugged. “I don’t know what I’d do without my wings,” Olivier said, now sounding really distressed about it.
“Well then,” Yellaina said, after spitting into the sink, “don’t sell the angelic half of your soul.”
Achaia finished brushing her teeth and put her toothbrush away. “Switch me seats?” Noland asked, sliding closer next to her. Achaia stood, and Noland slipped behind her and took her seat next to the window. Achaia sat in the middle of the bed to avoid sitting on his pillow. Yellaina smiled as she watched them. She wondered if they even noticed how in sync their smallest movements were, when they just stopped overthinking them.
“I wish I could talk to him about it,” Achaia said softly.
Yellaina swallowed hard, and regretted her tactlessness. She watched Noland’s face drop as well, and knew the feeling resonated with him. Yellaina didn’t get along with her father, but at least talking to him was always an option. One she knew she took for granted.
“I just… it’d be nice to know what he had been thinking.” Achaia was looking at the floor.
“You can ask him,” Olivier said confidently. “When we find him, you can ask.” Olivier seemed so sure they would find him. Yellaina wasn’t so positive. She had seen the faces of the Nephilim council members. She was sure they weren’t going to back a search party. In this matter, they were on their own.
Yellaina looked back over at Noland who was finishing up brushing his teeth. Their eyes met for only a second, but she could tell he was thinking along the same lines.
Achaia was staring at the floor, when she spoke, “What’s your God like?”
Yellaina couldn’t hide her surprise. Achaia was looking back up, and around at each of them.
“I’ve seen your governing system, and I have to say, I don’t like them.” Achaia shook her head. “But I don’t really know anything about your God. I’ve heard of a guy named Jesus, who was what? Like a prophet or something?” Achaia was looking a little confused.
Yellaina couldn’t help feeling like this conversation was biting off more than one could chew, for bedtime conversation. “Well, Jesus is God.” She said simply.
“But I thought Jesus was a dude?” Achaia said confused. “Or was that Peter?”
“Well they were both dudes.” Olivier smiled. “See, God really loves humans. Like, a lot. He knew things were going to get all screwed up when He gave them free will, so He came up with this plan when He made them: He would go down and be with them, to teach them and save them,” Olivier explained.
“God isn’t limited like us,” Noland added. “He is God the creator, and He is also Jesus, the man, who is the Son of God. Then He is also the Holy Spirit, who is ever-present. Three in one. All of them are God, and God is each of the three separate beings.”

Achaia was staring at him as if he’d lost her somewhere around the word “and”.
“Yeah it’s a bit confusing when you’re used to mortal stuff. Trust me, the spiritual world is complicated. It’s better if you just accept it. It doesn’t make sense to human science. But, you’ll see. It makes sense when you see Them. I mean, Him?” Olivier looked puzzled, then smiled. “He’s awesome.”
“Anyway,” Noland picked back up. “It made a lot of angels angry. Why would God want to be like the humans? Why would He become one of them, and put so much into saving something that had been so disloyal? They didn’t get it. But God loved humanity. He made all of this,” Noland gestured out the train window, “and yet, it was humans He had made in His image.”
“So, God looks like people?”
“Sort of. Yeah,” Olivier said, still smiling.
“And yet, no. Not really,” Yellaina had to add, squinting thoughtfully.
“So, God went through all this mess, and Jesus actually had to die. The humans killed Him,” Noland went on.
“Well, He let them, because it needed to happen,” Olivier added. “One sacrifice to save them all,” he added in his Mr. Moviephone voice.
Achaia laughed, but shook her head in obvious confusion. Yellaina knew it was a lot to take in, and felt like they were losing her. “Basically, humanity had screwed up a lot, and Jesus took the punishment for all of them, so that they could still get into heaven to be with God, because He really wants them there,” Yellaina tried to clarify.

“So why do so many people hate God?” Achaia asked, confused. “You make Him sound really generous.”
“He is,” Olivier said.
Yellaina cleared her throat. “I think every person who hates God probably has their own reason. And a lot of people just don’t know Him, or can’t understand Him, and so they give up, or get frustrated. But He is love. He isn’t just loving, He is love.” She looked over to Noland who was now leaning up against the wall, with one of his legs tucked up underneath him on the seat. He nodded at her encouragingly.
“That just sounds like some kind of fairy tale, He can’t be that perfect,” Achaia said, shaking her head. Noland looked at Achaia and frowned slightly.
“He is perfect,” Yellaina said bluntly, turning her focus back to Achaia. “He is the only being who is. Even we angels are fallen, and messed up. Humanity, made in God’s image doesn’t even reflect just how perfect He is.”
“Then why do bad things happen?” Achaia asked. “If He loved humanity so much, what about war, and all the crime?”

“Because God is love. He isn’t a dictator. He gave people free will, to choose Him. Not to mindlessly follow Him because they had to. But unfortunately, a lot of people haven’t chosen Him. People took their free will, and many have done terrible things with it. I mean just look at what Lucifer did when given just a little bit of wiggle room! He has punished thousands for the things they have done. But He promised to not flood the whole earth again. He won’t destroy it again like He did with Noah. It hurt Him so deeply to do it. There has never been that much weeping in heaven. The angels closest to God are still in mourning. He wants everyone to have time to choose Him before He comes back to earth. So the humans have missionaries and preachers… They go around and try to tell as many other humans as possible,” Yellaina said smiling. She could see the hope God had for people in that.
“But eventually He will come back, and the earth will be cleansed, and heaven will come down,” Noland said plainly. “The world, the way it is, has to end eventually. This wasn’t what God had in mind when He created everything. He didn’t want crime and war. He wanted love, and peace.”

“I don’t know. That just all seems like—that’s just a bit much for me,” Achaia said honestly, shrugging. “I’m sorry,” she said looking around at their faces.
“After seeing angels and demons, you have a hard time believing there’s a God who loves?” Yellaina asked a little defensively, she couldn’t help feeling disappointed. She couldn’t understand how Achaia didn’t get it.
“Yeah,” Achaia said, as though it shouldn’t be that hard to believe. “I’ve seen evil my entire life. Demons make sense. The angels I’ve seen, you guys excluded, didn’t look that different from demons, not inside, if I’m being honest.” Achaia shrugged again, her tone was genuine, and calm. “So yeah, believing there is an army of creatures out there who hate humanity, but are forced to protect it, and are at war with each other? Not a stretch. But a God who loves? And just loves, though the people He made are sick and twisted, and do nothing but spit in His face… And they are supposed to be made in His image? Yeah, it’s a bit unbelievable.” Achaia’s face had gone pink, she took a breath.
“Hey.” Noland put a hand on Achaia’s knee, and one up, in Yellaina’s direction, signaling for her to drop it.
Yellaina felt a little like a child being smacked on the wrist, and was embarrassed to feel even more deserving of it.
“It’s a lot to take in.” Noland said lowering his hand back down.

Excerpt From: Brandy Ange. “Transgression.”

Whew that was a long one, and a hard one. It was a tough conversation to write, truly uncomfortable. But I wanted it to be raw and honest, and genuine.

I HATE in books when big information is dropped and characters whose experience up to that point doesn’t support it, just except it and move along willy nilly for the sake of keeping up with the plot or the author’s agenda. It drives me nuts.

See in real life, people grapple with things they haven’t always known, especially if it runs contrary to everything they have experienced or been taught to believe in their life, society, or home. People don’t just get told something and accept it no questions asked or after only asking basic questions and then that’s that- it’s now a part of their core belief system. It takes time to understand foreign concepts, to explore them, and weigh them, and sit with them before just accepting them, and sometimes to really wrestle with them. That is the juiciest part of character development! That internal conflict! Why would you throw away that gold on quick acceptance!? (Okay sorry, as you can see this is a very real pet pieve that I see WAAAAAAY too often in books).

People who just believe everything they are told are impressionable, and easily brainwashed. Unfortunately it seems like there is actually a lot of that in our world today- BUT that isn’t something I think as author’s we should strive for or allow in our main characters, unless part of their struggle is overcoming that disposition and learning to ask questions.

One of the main themes in The Kingdom Come Series is learning to think for yourself and DECIDE what you believe, and then figure out how to fight for it. It was really important that Achaia not just jump on the bandwagon, but weigh her options with a healthy dose of skepticism. Because in reality, I feel like, being true to her character which is stubborn and in part likes to push against the current until she determines she likes the direction it’s going in, before she gives into it, she should definitely push back, or at least hold her ground rather than just jumping on board and being like “Oh I’ve just been wrong my whole life, thank you so much for telling me and explaining to me how wrong I’ve been so that I can correct my ways.” Let’s be honest, most of us wouldn’t receive messages that easily, and Achaia DEFINITELY wouldn’t.

Internal conflict is one of the greatest aspects of storytelling. If readers get invested in characters, then that’s the juicy stuff that really matters! Not the stuff happening around them, but the conflict within them!

Speaking of internal conflict, lets jump over to Yellaina, the other main participant in this conversation, and the driving force behind it’s downward trajectory.

Let’s take a look at where she is in the beginning of the conversation, because I think this is important. Firstly, she’s already beating herself up for putting her foot in her mouth- and as a perfectionist, this is going to lead her to overcompensate to make herself right (in standing), which backfires.

Secondly, she doesn’t want to be having this conversation- she doesn’t think it’s the right time, and then when she sees it not going as she hoped, she grapples for tighter control, which she just doesn’t have, which leads to something very near panic.

Now, her motivation is good. She wants her friend to believe something she knows to be true. And the stakes are really high; if Achaia doesn’t believe it, it could put her in extraordinary danger. But, by Yellaina not giving Achaia room to consider, and explore, and draw her own conclusions, by trying to force Achaia to just accept her way of thinking, Yellaina actually has a counterproductive effect of upsetting Achaia and insuring the conversation doesn’t end well.

How often to we do this? It can manifest in different ways for different personality types, but when we don’t give others the space to process the way they need to, or in some personality types’ case, we give them too much room by shying away from having the tough conversations at all- it doesn’t go well, leading to a build up of resentment or a lack of respect for the other person for not knowing or believing the thing we haven’t ever actually spoken to them about. But this is part of being human, personalities clash, people rub each other the wrong way; even when they love each other, mean well, and have pure motives.

If we leave this out of literature, we do our characters a huge injustice.

It makes no sense for Achaia to just believe in God when her father intentionally did everything possible to make sure she knew nothing about Him, and thought about His existence as little as possible. Growing up in a world full of pain, heartache, and evil, she couldn’t possibly just abandon all her life experience which wouldn’t back up the existence of a loving God without deep reflection and consideration from different perspectives she had never considered before.

Yellaina, meanwhile, only sees the time crunch and needs Achaia to jump on board ASAP, and Yellaina’s frantic grapple for validation is what gets Achaia upset to the point of wanting to just shut down.

Because Achaia’s point of view isn’t being heard, she could feel like she is being berated or backed into a corner and bullied into compliance, or belittled for thinking differently. Yellaina could have used the opportunity to see where Achaia was coming from and make her friend feel seen, heard, and respected (she also would have been able to speak directly to the areas of Achaia’s struggle and helped her believe sooner if she’d been willing to work on Achaia’s timeline instead of her own by listening more before speaking.

Achaia’s not being given the room to decide for herself, didn’t allow her the space for reflection and consideration, rather she reached into her experience for anything that is going to back up her right to think differently, which leads her to be more inclined to play devil’s advocate (no pun intended lol) and pull out all evidence to the contrary of what Yellaina is trying to say. Because when we are backed into a corner, we naturally get defensive- which is exactly what was happening.

Thank God for Noland who sees where each of them is coming from, and is able to compassionately step in, and try to give them both some breathing room before things got out of hand.

What do you think? Does it bug you when conversations go too smoothly in literature?